sad moment....

hello everyone...
me again.. this week i need to post two blog.. and now i want to tell you about what happen to me last night.. Last night around 12.00 o'clock I got call from my dad.. I know something that bad will happen..because he usually at that time..I even wonder why my dad call at that time..

My guess was right..
my grandma was pass away just a minutes ago... i shock..really shock...i know my grandma in hospital.. she has something with her skin... I really shock..how can skin can effect to someone life?it can be..but in serious condition... but my mom just come back from kampung last morning... she call me 3 hours before my dad call me my grand ma was gone... she didn't say anything... so though all is fine...

my mom know I m strong enough to face it... she just leave me with that... actually i 'm not.. i cried... i never cried since I was here..even when my mom back leaving my here.. I don't cry..because I m strong enough..but this time..no..i didn't enough strong.. I very weak...

my grand ma have alzhiema since i was 7 years-old.. she didn't remember at all... me..her childeren even my grand pa...never at all..
she can't speak as well..
it 's true..i never knowing my grand ma very well..but I know.. she's the best grand ma
I have..I still remember in my childhood... she treat us very patiently.. my grand pa always say her wife is very outstanding women..

my grand pa always busy doing his work as well as my aunt...everyday..my grand ma leave alone with our maid... before this our maid whose the one take care my grand ma... I dont know what happen after that..
because I was here...

the things that make me so sad..is i can't go to back to to give my last respect to her...
firstly I thought my aunt(staying in saudi arabiya) and my brother (practical in naval base lumut, we try to contact him last night but he 's on the ship) not coming back...
I just got a massage..saying that...they on the way coming back!!!! me and my younger brother ( taking his pmr ths year in taiping and having trial exam now) only the one not going back!!!!!

I felt so sad...why me??
my dad say that I no need to going back.. I call my dad my dad after subuh..my grand pa pick up the phone.. he's cry to me.. I cannot stop from crying... after that my beloved cousin call me..also cry...everyone cry...i felt I want go back now... but i know this is more important..the test... I must be strong...in facing this..I remenber one thing my cousin said... we no longer having a grand ma..
always thing about that...I cry...
I know i should be thankful because I m back for this hari raya..
but it doesn't mean anything ...she had gone... I can imagine..how would happen this hari raya.. my brother will go to korea on 25 sept (by ship).. my flight on 26..he will go about a month... I miss my brother so much.. almost 3 month we didn't meet...my college before is just near by him... every week we went to midvelly together...since we are far from family..

what the sad moment I got this ramadhan..never mind..I will take it as a fate that will make me up...insya-allah..
see you soon...